Last week a newborn baby left the hospital with a birth certificate reading “BennettPankow.com”.

Well not exactly. As reported in story by The Associated Press, Mark Pankow, father of Bennett Pankow, registered the internet domain name BennettPankow.com in anticipation for the birth of his son.

Bennett joins his four other siblings who all have their own domain names, increasing the size of a network of underaged Pankow website owners.

With good intentions Mark registered the domain name for Bennett’s future.

After all, when push comes to shove, how many e-mail addresses or usernames do you get that are your first preference? Mark is giving young Bennett a handle on his future online identity.

But while [email protected] has a great ring to it, young Bennett can benefit from the appearance of his own internet identity via BennettPankow.com.

But sparked by his new internet presence and his young age, Bennett may be thrust into a life of the internet quicker than he may desire.

When he is older and computer savvy, say at 4 years old, Bennett can look forward to the big person world of having his own domain name and the great fun of sorting years of e-mail spam.

As a result, it’s safe to say that Bennett will know more about Maxoderm and enlarging that certain part of the male anatomy before anyone else does in coloring class.

Distant grandmas and grandpas from afar, still confused how e-mail, the internet, technology and toasters work, will stop sending Bennett e-cards due to the lack of a single reply in four years.

In the years to follow, Bennett will grow a kindergarten-sized ulcer as he runs around the playground with his Fisher-Price laptop trying to prevent hackers from redirecting his domain name to Russian mail-order bride websites.

In his 20s and capitalizing on the image of his own domain name, Bennett gives out a custom e-mail address to his longtime girlfriend, [email protected].

Sarah would use the e-mail address for many years until she one day comes across a mysterious [email protected] in the BennettPankow.com chat room, a popular destination for Bennett’s old friends and family.

Later, now working together, Sarah and Kelly discover 14 other ‘special girls’ who received similar rare e-mail addresses.

Bennett, now single, learns message boards and forums across the internet have Google associating his domain name with street pimps and a Russian mail-order bride websites, the latter which he has battled since childhood.

Succumbing to the pressure, Bennett eventually gives in and creates a Russian Facebook for pimps at BennettPankow.com and ends up retiring a wealthy man.

Bennett’s story is in no way unique. Having your own domain name puts you into the limelight of the internet. Mark’s $10 purchase for Bennett is a conscious one, but it will be up to Bennett on how he uses his potential notoriety.

As more people get online and become tech savvy, it might be a good idea to control your own domain name as well, and shape your own future like young Bennett.

[Via The Daily Evergreen]

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